


Only For You.

by BenSolosGirl20



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi!Rey, Lightsaber Battles (Star Wars), Lightsabers (Star Wars), Not Canon Compliant, Post-Battle of Crait (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, angst!Rey, virgin!rey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:28:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29550009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenSolosGirl20/pseuds/BenSolosGirl20
Summary: “What is there to say? You’ve stopped me from carrying out my mission for the Resistance.”“Do you know anything about those allies,other than their offer of aid for the Resistance?” His voice was neutrally calm, almost soft.Rey has been sent to investigate rumors of help for the Resistance, and meets Kylo Ren on the same planet.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp, The 50 Shades of Rey





	1. Chapter 1

She’d sensed his Force signature the moment she’d landed her X-wing on Dair, an insignificant little forest world where it was rumored to have allies sympathetic to the Resistance; it was chaotic, swirling with darkness and light, anger and sadness.  
He was here. On this very planet. 

Rey gritted her teeth as her hands gripped the controls. Of all places in the Galaxy, Kylo Ren had to be here as well. For what intent and purpose, she didn’t know. He couldn’t have known what she was going to do; she’d worked on her mental shields to block him out since Crait. Still, there were those days when she inadvertently let them down, and the Bond opened, connecting them. And they weren’t exactly happy times for either one; the connections ended with them ignoring each other. 

She sighed and sat back, relaxing her tensed shoulders. 

There were only two options for her to choose from.

She could fly back to the Resistance’s hidden base on Ajan Kloss.  
Or, she could continue on, try avoiding meeting him( if that were possible), meet with the allies, and leave, again without meeting him.  
Why did the last option suddenly make her heart ache?  
“Stop it!” She told herself. “We made our choices, there on the Supremacy. I couldn’t join the First Order and the Dark Side with him.”

She could still remember that day. There among the flames and ruins of Snoke’s throne room, where they had stood against the praetorian guards, not long ago.  
Rey still remembered feeling him at her back, grabbing his thigh for support before leaping into the guards’ midst, throwing him Anakin’s lightsaber to impale his opponent, his offer for her to join him, the crushing truth about her parents, that she was a no one. 

She still remembered his whispered “please”, his extended gloved hand( a sharp contrast from when they touched, skin to skin,across light years and galaxies back in her hut on Ach-To), those pretty, dark eyes so hopeful and sad at once, her own hand reaching out- and the fight for his grandfather’s saber. 

The memories continued, of her waking first after the explosion, of grabbing the lightsaber’s pieces, departing the throne room ( with a sorrowful glance back at him, unconscious and vulnerable, soon to awaken in heartbroken rage), of escaping and meeting the Falcon. 

After that, Rey had been busy gunning down TIE fighters as she and Chewie came to the Resistance’s rescue on Crait, hunting for the back entrance, clearing it of the rocks, getting everyone on board. Then, the Force connection had happened; he was kneeling in the old Rebellion base, looking up at her with those same dark eyes. Only, he was saddened, defeated. She had frowningly stared back, closed the entrance ramp- and the connection broke. 

Rey shook her head violently, clearing the memories of that day. She had to stay focused, carry out her mission, and return to Ajan Kloss. No thoughts about the man determined to stay with the First Order, which he now commanded, and the Dark Side of the Force. Ben Solo was gone, just Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader and Dark Side Wielder remained. 

She had made her decision now. Taking a deep breath, Rey flung open the X-wing’s transparisteel canopy. She landed with a thump on the dry dusty ground. All was still around her, not a bird warbled. But she could feel the Force radiating from everything around her, humming with its balance of peace and violence, life and death, darkness and light.

Then she felt him, felt his Force aura brush against her mental shields, seeking entry. Quickly, Rey shoved him out, blocked him.  
Setting her teeth, she set off down the narrow little path winding sinuously through the forest. 

It was so different from Ajan Kloss here; the cool, crisp air nipped her cheeks, the overcast sky loomed overhead, the evergreen trees sighed in a faint breeze.  
Rey pulled her jacket close and kept walking.  
The trees thinned, fell away, revealing rocky earth; the path continued snaking away down through a chasm. 

Rey looked up at the sky and frowned. She had to hurry; it could be stormy in an hour or so. The allies’ base wasn’t far away, according to its coordinates on the map.  
She unclipped her lightsaber and hurried into the chasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The forest planet Dair is my own creation. Dair means “tree” in Modern Irish.


	2. Chapter 2

The chasm wasn’t very high, but it was broad, littered with fallen boulders, dead evergreen branches, pine cones, and mossy patches. It was also damp and cool here too, and it smelled of decay and wetness. 

A sense of deja vu fell over Rey as she quickly walked. She’d first met Kylo Ren in a chasm in Takodana’s forest, and fought him in a forest lined chasm on Ilum. Here she was again, in a chasm on a forest planet, and she’d felt Kylo in the Force after her landing.  
Rey squared her shoulders, telling herself it was a coincidence. She hurried on.

Then she felt it. His Force signature. He was here.  
Rey set her teeth and walked on steadily. No turning back now.

There was a bend in the chasm. Rey turned its corner and met Kylo Ren.  
He still looked very much the same; raven waves, full pouting lips, expressive dark eyes. A closer look revealed the weariness and the dark circles under his eyes, the pallor of his skin. Clearly, running the First Order was taking its toll on him.

 _And maybe your leaving him did too,_ whispered her traitorous heart.  
She chose to ignore it.

“I see you’ve taken on the role of Jedi quite well,” Kylo said, noting her hair, now up in her triple buns again, and the white clothing under her jacket.  
“Yes, just as you’ve taken on the role of Supreme Leader,” Rey answered, noting the cape hanging gracefully from his wide shoulders and the newness of his tunic. He looked so regal, despite his tired eyes, his pallid face. Her core fluttered. She ignored it.

“I had no choice,” he replied darkly, “it was either me or General Hux. It wasn’t what I wanted.”  
“You could have left the First Order, come with me to the Resistance.” Rey gripped her saber.  
“And be shot on sight, or imprisoned and executed! My mo- “ he stopped angrily, then resumed somewhat calmly. “ General Organa wouldn’t forgive me for killing her husband. I can’t go back to her, or her Resistance.”

“You’re wrong.” A memory of seeing the sadness in Leia’s eyes whenever her son appeared in his mask on the holonet flitted through Rey’s mind. “She still loves you. She’d forgive you, she may have already.” 

“Yes, she loved me enough to send me to Skywalker, to be nearly killed while I slept because he saw darkness in me.” Bitterness laced his voice as Kylo recalled that night. He stepped forward, his cape softly wafting in the breeze. “I was never enough for my family, I was expected to live up to a legacy. I disappointed them. I wasn’t enough for Snoke; my dedication to the Dark wasn’t enough.”

“Your dedication wasn’t enough because you’re still being called to the Light. It’s still in you. I came to you that day because I believed you could turn.”Rey stepped forward slowly. “I thought you would come back when you killed Snoke, when we fought his guards together.”

“I thought you would join me, accept my offer,” Kylo answered, “ let it all die.”  
“I didn’t want the Dark Side nor the First Order. I couldn’t let the Resistance die. We made our choices that day.” How she wished she could get around him, continue her mission! Leia and the Resistance were counting on her. 

In her anxiety, she let her mental shields down. Instantly, he was inside her head, seeing her reason for being here on this planet. With an effort, she pushed him out.  
“You’ve been sent here. To meet allies for General Organa and the Resistance.” Kylo stepped forward. He was all Supreme Leader mode. “Allies against the First Order.” 

“Stand aside.” Rey tensed, raising her saber. “I don’t want to have to kill you.” She breathed deeply, trying to push down a dark rush of anger. It wasn’t the Jedi way, she told herself.  
“You don’t?” For a moment he regarded her so intensely that she faltered. “Rey, I sense your anger. You can’t hide it. Not from me. You don’t want to kill me, but the anger in you wants you to.” 

_Rey, control yourself, don’t give in to anger._  
So much for Jedi meditations and self control. It was getting late, and she had a mission to carry out. With a cry, she ignited the lightsaber.


	3. Chapter 3

Their blades met in a blazing clash of cyan and red as Kylo Ren ignited his saber to ward off her blow. He remained on the defensive, blocking and deflecting Rey’s blows. The hum and buzz of their striking sabers filled the emptiness of the chasm as they engaged in the deadly dance of their battle, the plasma glow lit the rough walls around the battling Force wielders. 

Rey slashed at Kylo. He ducked, pivoted, and blocked her next blow in one movement. Rey lunged forward in rekindled anger, slashing, advancing forward, pushing Kylo backwards. He parried her hit, then advanced, pushing her into the defensive. 

Rey’s anger and frustration rose. She so wanted to complete the mission entrusted to her, and she was being prevented from doing it. With a cry, she deflected the next blow and slashed, lightly scorching Kylo’s sleeve. He stepped back lightly, avoiding a saber burn, then lunged forward. Rey stepped back several paces, then deflected his blow, wincing at the impact of his heavy handed strike on her blade. 

Despite the Darkness flowing from Kylo, Rey could sense no hate or malice in him. Except frustration, anger, and something else. Something indescribable. His blows were hard and heavy upon her saber blade, but he didn’t attempt touching her, even after she burnt his sleeve.

They paused for a moment, breathing deeply. The Force hummed between them, disturbed by their fight.  
She felt him brush against her shields; reluctantly she let him in. 

_Why are we doing this? I didn’t want to fight you!_

_I only want to continue my mission!_

_So the Resistance can continue their pathetic fight against the First Order?_

_We won’t submit! We’ll burn down the First Order._

_Would you burn me with it?_

Rey’s thoughts vanished in disbelief.

_Admit it, your thoughts have betrayed you before. You didn’t want to have to kill me. You could have, when I was unconscious on the Supremacy. But you didn’t._

Why did he have to look so attractive at this moment? His tousled raven waves, the flush of his cheeks, the battle glow in his dark eyes, his parted plushy lips, his heaving chest were all affecting her. She rallied herself sternly. 

_I didn’t, and I don’t want to, but I will if you don’t kriffing stop and let me go!_

_You’ll have to kill me then._

Enough talking. Rey slammed down her mental shields and lunged at Kylo again. He jumped back, barely missing a potentially fatal cut, then they were battling again.  
This time, their blows were angrier, more heavy and hard upon each other’s saber blade. The Force rippled around them, disturbed by the anger flowing from them.

They locked blades once in the course of their battle. Rey pushed against their blades trying to break the hold, but Kylo, with minimal effort, held her back. She glared at him across their crossed blades; his expression was unreadable. His mental shields were up, blocking her from entering. 

Finally, Rey pivoted under the glowing blades, breaking the lock. She Force leaped up to the top of the chasm, and halted unsteadily, the adrenaline humming throughout her body.   
A moment later, Kylo was there too, approaching her, his saber at his side. It glowed luridly in the increasing gloom. Rey took a defensive stance. 

“I’m not fighting you right now,” Kylo remarked, stopping not far from her, “I said I didn’t want to, much earlier. Now, can we talk?”

“What is there to say? You’ve stopped me from carrying out my mission for the Resistance.”

“Do you know anything about those allies,other than their offer of aid for the Resistance?” His voice was neutrally calm, almost soft. 

“Nothing. Leia sent me to meet them, to obtain their support. What do they have to do with you being here? I had you blocked out; how did you know to come here?” Rey’s frustration was rising. He was lying to her somehow, she thought.

Kylo sighed, and started to speak. 

The world around them suddenly lit up with a bright white- yellow light, and the air was torn by a violent roar of thunder. Then large droplets pelted down around the two Force users.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey gasped as the cold drops pelted her face. She hadn’t expected the storm to happen so soon. “We need to find shelter!” she shouted above the rain.

“There’s a cave farther back, where I came from,” Kylo shouted back, “it should be large enough- “

“I’d rather find shelter with a sarlaac!” Rey couldn’t resist shouting. She was angry at Kylo for stopping her, then trying to fill her mind with doubt about the allies.

Was it her, or did Kylo actually grin a little? It vanished before she was sure. 

“When you’ve changed your mind about finding shelter with the sarlaac, the cave is south of here, above the chasm.” He wrapped himself up in his flowing cape and walked away through the rain. 

_Huh! He’d be sarcastic at a time like this._  
Rey wiped some wet strands out of her eyes and shivered when the faint breeze touched her wet face. She wondered how fast she could return to her X-wing; at least she could sit out the rain. 

_Maybe I should go to that cave after all._  
_No, he and I have nothing in common after that time on the Supremacy, and he could be deceiving me about those allies. I should go to my fighter._

Something hurt within her for thinking harshly of Kylo, but she shoved it down as she turned to go.  
She’d have to hurry; her jacket was slowly getting soaked.

There was a flash, and the air exploded with a deafening roar, causing her ears to ring. The air tingled and the fine hairs stood up on Rey’s arms.

Not far away in the woods, there was a crash of something massive falling amid the trees. Rey could feel the luckless tree’s energy fade in the Force. 

So much for going back; the storm was too dangerous. There was only one place to go. With a frown( and an inner relief that she quickly smothered), Rey squared her shoulders and walked.

“You’ve changed your mind,” Kylo stood up as a dripping wet Rey stepped into the cave. He’d already started a fire of dried sticks and leaves, and had been preparing to strip off his wet tunic when she appeared in the opening. 

“I- there was no sarlaac’s lair in the vicinity,” Rey replied sarcastically, “ and the storm is too dangerous to walk in. Otherwise, I’d be in my fighter waiting it out.”  
He hummed in affirmation, a faint smirk playing across his face when she mentioned the sarlaac. 

Rey tried to ignore how the smirk played across those luscious lips, the ones she’d stared at, imagined kissing, when she and he were together in the elevator. 

“You’re welcome to use the fire to warm and dry your clothes.”  
He was unzipping his tunic as he spoke. Rey held her breath, her cheeks warming, as he slid it off. He was just as broad, pale, and scarred as he had been when she saw him shirtless at Ach-To. Only this was for real, not via their connection. 

She shrugged off her wet jacket and walked past Kylo, lightly brushing her arm against his arm. A rush of sparks erupted at the light touch and a warmth crept up her arm to spread throughout her body, joining her flushed face.  
She started and looked at Kylo. His cheeks were flushed too; he was breathing deeply, and his eyes were darker. He had been affected by her faint touch. 

_I affected him with my touch._  
_And I shouldn’t feel that way about him._  
Rey shoved the feeling down with some effort and sat down. 

“So, how long are we going to be here until the storm ends?” Rey spread her jacket out on a rock near the fire.  
“I have no idea. Maybe an hour, maybe all night.” Kylo sat down, across the fire, from Rey. “Dair isn’t under First Order control, so there’s no information in the star system database for it. Either way, we’re stuck here till the storm ends.”

“The Resistance had no information on it either,” Rey admitted reluctantly, “other than the rumor regarding the allies.” She undid her damp buns and let her hair down. “Which leads me to the question.” She stared across the flickering flames at Kylo. “What brought you here? Was it the rumor about the allies?”

There was a pause. Kylo jabbed at the fire with a branch. Rey waited patiently. At last he spoke.  
“I heard rumors too, from the government of this planet. The officials wanted peace negotiations with the First Order. They offered to meet and discuss them. My officers and I met with the governor and their lead officials, 3 hours ago. It was the usual sycophantic talk about peaceful negotiations with the First Order, until someone, one of the generals, slipped up.”

His voice grew harsh. “He said, ‘we can’t expect the Supreme Leader to accept negotiations until the Jedi is brought in.’” 

It was as if the Galaxy had stood still. There was only one known Jedi alive. A feeling of suffocating anger settled upon Rey as the grim meaning of what Kylo had just said sank in. 

_They lied. Lied to Leia and the Resistance. All to buy off the First Order._

“Did you accept that offer?” Rey asked through set teeth, her anger nearly slipping loose. Her fingers brushed her saber hilt, ready to fight her way to freedom. She could feel the Dark Side calling to her; she half heeded its seductive call, waiting for the Supreme Leader to answer. 

“I gave them their answer.” He held his hand out, palm up. Rey hesitated, glancing between it and his face, as the memories of that night on the Supremacy replayed. 

“Rey, don’t be worried, I was going to show you.” 

She laid her little hand in his large hand for the second time since Ach-To. It was warm, comforting, sending sparks up her arm. She glanced at him, then opening their Bond, she entered into his memories.


	5. Chapter 5

_Kylo Ren turned to glare at the general sitting near the Dairan Governor. “So I won’t accept peace negotiations until the Jedi is brought in? Give me one sound reason why I should take her, Governor.”_

_“Supreme Leader, if my memory serves me correctly, there has been a bounty on the Jedi’s head since she killed your predecessor and his praetorian guards. Why hesitate at this opportunity?” The Governor leaned forward eagerly. “She’ll be coming to our base in 24 standard hours._

_Darkness rolled from Kylo in waves. His mask with its blood red lines hid his expression, but his anger didn’t need to be seen. “I didn’t ask for the Jedi to be part of the negotiations. I heard rumors and came here to investigate, and you offer to hand her over when she arrives on Dair. All for peace from the First Order.”_

_“We desire peace. And you want the Jedi. We hand her over upon her arrival, you leave, and we live on in peace from the First Order.” The Governor sat back as if satisfied with his answer._

_Memories passed through Kylo’s mind, of a rainy night, of Rey telling him he wasn’t alone, offering her hand to him, coming to him, fighting Snoke’s guards alongside him, saving his life. Her lovely face, hazel eyes, her downfallen chestnut hair, appeared before him now; despite her rejection and departure, he still couldn’t hate her. He cut the memories short; he had to maintain the role of Supreme Leader._

_“What if I said no to accepting the Jedi, in exchange for peace?” He stood up slowly and menacingly. There was a startled murmur of voices on all sides; beside him, Hux turned livid. The Dairan general, who had suggested handing Rey over, was the most shocked. “No? She assassinated your predecessor, killed his guards, and you say no? What are you thinking!”_

_“General, remember who you’re talking to,” the Governor warned._

_Too late. Next moment, the general was grasping his throat, fighting against the Force choke hold. Kylo tightened his grip. The other Dairans froze in their seats in horror, watching their general struggle for air. The Governor shrank back in his seat, fear radiating from him._

_Finally, Kylo released him from the Force choke hold, letting the general drop in a panting heap. “I reject your peace terms.” He turned to Hux. “Send a squad to that base and take it down. No prisoners.”_

_Hux looked ready to protest, but evidently he remembered being Force choked the last time he protested, so he got up and left, snapping his orders to some stormtroopers. Kylo turned to the gaping Dairans. “In 48 hours, my ground forces will be here. As of this minute, your government is dissolved. Don’t think you will win against the First Order, and don’t expect the Resistance to come and aid you.”_

A storm of mixed emotions settled upon Rey as she withdrew from Kylo’s head. On the one hand, he had seized control of yet another planet; on the other hand, he had refused to accept her as a prisoner from the Dairans in an obviously desperate attempt to buy off the First Order. 

“So Dair is under First Order control now. Why didn’t the Resistance know about it, why did you do it?” Her voice rose. “They were people wanting peace-“

“Communications have been cut off, for one, and it hasn’t been officially announced on the holonet. Which is why the Resistance knows nothing of it.” His tone changed; it became almost bitter, regretful. “I would have left them in peace, they have barely anything to offer to the First Order. I wouldn’t have dissolved their government. I came here when I heard the rumors about the Dairans offering aid to the Resistance.”

He paused, then continued. “Had it been anyone else, the pilot, the traitor FN-2187-“

“His name is Finn!” Rey interrupted. Kylo’s mouth twitched a little. 

“Okay. Finn, or anyone else. I would have taken them and left Dair alone. But when they offered to give you to the First Order in exchange for peace,” he swallowed nervously, “ I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t accept their offer.”

“So, why did you punish them so harshly?” Rey asked. 

Kylo was silent, staring into the fire. Its flames flickered, lighting up every line of his face, every plane of his abs and pectorals. Rey felt her face grow warm as she gazed at him. 

He spoke, his soft, resonant voice breaking the monotony of the pounding rain outside. 

“Because of you. I did it all, only for you.” He swallowed again, more visibly. “Maybe you still hate me for my offer and choices, but I can’t hate you. I couldn’t hate you.” 

Rey was silent. _He seized a world. Only because its people had threatened my freedom. He didn’t have to, shouldn’t have. But he did._

“You shouldn’t have conquered them on my account.” 

“If the Galaxy tried to buy peace by offering you to the First Order, I’d refuse.” The Dark rippled around Kylo as he spoke. 

“I’m not worth the Galaxy’s enslavement!” Rey’s voice rose. She stood up angrily. 

“You’re worth more than the Galaxy!” Kylo stood up too, Darkness rolling off him.

“Says you, who called me nothing in the throne room!” It was Rey’s turn. She shivered at the Darkness flowing around them- and flowing from herself. 

“I didn’t mean it like _that_! You’re everything to me.” He stalked up close to her so she had to look up into his face. 

“You were everything too, Ben, until you chose the Dark Side!” Rey’s face warmed again, despite her anger. Why did he still look so attractive when he was angry? 

“Rey,” he growled, “Don’t call me by that name.” 

“It’s still your name. The name of your mother’s only hope. You’re still Ben Solo. Despite you saying the opposite, calling yourself Kylo Ren and clinging to the Dark, you’re still Ben Solo. A man who I love, despite the Jedi-“

Why had she said that! Rey stammered, blushing; she knew her face resembled Kylo’s lightsaber. 

“You- what?” He stared, his dark eyes widening. He was obviously taken back. 

“I- I said I love you,” she murmured timidly, staring at the stony cave floor, “despite the Jedi Code. I can’t help myself. But I do.”  
Her face could have melted bantha butter. She avoided looking at him, awaiting his response, his reaction. 

A moment passed, then his large fingers tucked under her chin, lifted her face to meet his. Timidly she looked up. The anger and arrogance of Kylo Ren had somehow vanished; there was something else there in his expression. Awe. Vulnerability. _Love._  
In that moment, she saw Ben Solo. 

Slowly, he moved in, giving her room to stop him, but there was an unspoken request in his dark eyes. Rey impatiently grabbed Ben’s shoulders, and pulling him close, pressed her lips to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! I’m sorry for the sudden cliffhanger, but real life and a minor writer’s block interfered with my story. I hope to get the final chapter up soon.


End file.
